I went to see Anne Lamott tonight at the local Barnes and Noble. That was very cool. I read "Traveling Mercies" in college by her and thought it was very insightful, even if I didn't agree with her on every point. If you haven't heard of her, she's a popular writer and novelist. She's a Christian but a very rough-around-the-edges Christian. A feminist but not a super crazy feminist. She has some powerful things to say about Christianity and what it should look like. Very exciting opportunity. I got a couple of books signed by her and had my picture taken with her, which I'll post at some point (they're on my phone right now). If you're wondering what books she's written the link is below: I've read "Traveling Mercies," and also own "Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith" and "Bird by Bird."
Anne Lamott's books
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
My First Snow Day Ever
Well, I have now experienced my first snow day ever. Classes were cancelled today due to the snow. There are a few inches on the ground but the snow is coming down pretty hard still so I'd expect a few more inches still. Now that I have the day off I'm not sure what to do with myself. A chance to work on some projects.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Quick Church Placement Update
I'm currently working on field education placements, and it looks like I may have found a lead on a church placement for the summer. It would be about 20-30 minutes from Arcadia and it looks like it'd be very diverse, taking me through many different aspects of ministry (preaching, youth, children, visitation, etc.). Prayer would be appreciated as I continue to look into it. I'll give more details when I know more about the placement one way or the other.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Into the Routine, Discerning the Call
I am starting to feel comfortable with the routine of this semester now. My schedule is a bit odd since I am finished with classes by 10:00 am on Tuesday and have no class on Wednesday, so having that large chunk of time unoccupied has stretched me in terms of keeping on top of work rather than resting and relaxing, a difficult temptation to beat. But as time is moving along quickly I am readjusting my patterns to keep moving ahead.
With less credits this semester I'm also finding more time to stop and reflect on why I'm here and what I am working toward. One of the struggles last semester was losing sight of my purpose for studying here and what I was striving for. Part of it was some of the shock of being back in school and the level of intensity required to stay on top of work and do my work well, but part of it was in worrying about how to balance everything that I was unable to remember why I wanted to come to Seminary and accomplish here. With more time to reflect, I have been able to keep focused, and that has helped immensely in keeping my spirits up and continue to push through difficult classes.
I have been also thinking about where God is directing me in terms of my call and how that fits in with my passions, gifts, and talents. The waters are still very murky and little has happened still to clear them. On the one hand, I can see those traits that would serve well in a pastoral role. I am relational person and thrive in situations where I can develop connections that enable me to counsel, listen, and advise those who I care about. I still believe I have a gift for teaching and motivating change in people's lives. I have also witnessed how I've been used to point people to God, even when I feel distant from God; that was especially the case during the middle years of college. I know that for many I have been a person that people can trust to share concerns and doubts in different aspects of life. And God has put me in positions of leadership and responsibility in the past that have prepared me for future placements in leadership.
At the same time, I know that I also have a strong "intellectual" side; I think about problems analytically and often times I'd rather not come down on one side or another of particular issues because I realize that there is no clear cut answer. I enjoy teaching in a way that stimulates further reflection that may or may not result in change. I tend to have a critical side that would rather point out weaknesses rather than strengths so that those weaknesses can be strengthened. I think perhaps most "problematic" is that I'm very willing to ask difficult questions that aren't necessarily welcome. And in my experience so far, those who want to ask difficult questions and not always wanting to come down on solid answers aren't always most appreciated in church settings (except for some, but those tend to be churches that fall on a far more "liberal" stance than I'm comfortable with). Moreover I'm also afraid to a certain extent of being put in a position of nurturing personal growth when my approach is to introduce ideas rather than suggest a particular line of thinking. And I wonder whether I would be better fit in an environment where my goal is to introduce ideas rather than push someone to make a particular decision.
I realize that I'm still early in this process of reflection. The differences between teaching academically and pastorally are not that clearly defined. There's a lot of overlap, and there are also aspects of both that I simply don't know about yet. At this point, when it comes to it, I really have no clear direction to go on either path. With academic teaching, though I would enjoy classes and developing academic relationships with students, I'm not sure I want to be involved in the academic community (being at Princeton has shown me some of the ugly side of the academic world). With pastoral teaching, the major obstacle is that I lack a clear sense of call. My fear is that it's my decision to be a pastor, not God's leading me to that position, and if the Bible has taught me anything, it's those that who desire to be in positions of leadership are often the ones who fail while those who become leaders reluctantly, sometimes even against their desire, are most effective because they have been called. I can't help but feel right now that my desire to be a leader is what is driving me toward the pastorate, not the sense that God has called me to lead in His community.
The wrestling continues. I trust that a way will eventually be cleared in one direction or another. Probably not in the timing I want, but things never go as quickly as I'd like them to, which is better anyway. For now, it's time to hit the books again.
With less credits this semester I'm also finding more time to stop and reflect on why I'm here and what I am working toward. One of the struggles last semester was losing sight of my purpose for studying here and what I was striving for. Part of it was some of the shock of being back in school and the level of intensity required to stay on top of work and do my work well, but part of it was in worrying about how to balance everything that I was unable to remember why I wanted to come to Seminary and accomplish here. With more time to reflect, I have been able to keep focused, and that has helped immensely in keeping my spirits up and continue to push through difficult classes.
I have been also thinking about where God is directing me in terms of my call and how that fits in with my passions, gifts, and talents. The waters are still very murky and little has happened still to clear them. On the one hand, I can see those traits that would serve well in a pastoral role. I am relational person and thrive in situations where I can develop connections that enable me to counsel, listen, and advise those who I care about. I still believe I have a gift for teaching and motivating change in people's lives. I have also witnessed how I've been used to point people to God, even when I feel distant from God; that was especially the case during the middle years of college. I know that for many I have been a person that people can trust to share concerns and doubts in different aspects of life. And God has put me in positions of leadership and responsibility in the past that have prepared me for future placements in leadership.
At the same time, I know that I also have a strong "intellectual" side; I think about problems analytically and often times I'd rather not come down on one side or another of particular issues because I realize that there is no clear cut answer. I enjoy teaching in a way that stimulates further reflection that may or may not result in change. I tend to have a critical side that would rather point out weaknesses rather than strengths so that those weaknesses can be strengthened. I think perhaps most "problematic" is that I'm very willing to ask difficult questions that aren't necessarily welcome. And in my experience so far, those who want to ask difficult questions and not always wanting to come down on solid answers aren't always most appreciated in church settings (except for some, but those tend to be churches that fall on a far more "liberal" stance than I'm comfortable with). Moreover I'm also afraid to a certain extent of being put in a position of nurturing personal growth when my approach is to introduce ideas rather than suggest a particular line of thinking. And I wonder whether I would be better fit in an environment where my goal is to introduce ideas rather than push someone to make a particular decision.
I realize that I'm still early in this process of reflection. The differences between teaching academically and pastorally are not that clearly defined. There's a lot of overlap, and there are also aspects of both that I simply don't know about yet. At this point, when it comes to it, I really have no clear direction to go on either path. With academic teaching, though I would enjoy classes and developing academic relationships with students, I'm not sure I want to be involved in the academic community (being at Princeton has shown me some of the ugly side of the academic world). With pastoral teaching, the major obstacle is that I lack a clear sense of call. My fear is that it's my decision to be a pastor, not God's leading me to that position, and if the Bible has taught me anything, it's those that who desire to be in positions of leadership are often the ones who fail while those who become leaders reluctantly, sometimes even against their desire, are most effective because they have been called. I can't help but feel right now that my desire to be a leader is what is driving me toward the pastorate, not the sense that God has called me to lead in His community.
The wrestling continues. I trust that a way will eventually be cleared in one direction or another. Probably not in the timing I want, but things never go as quickly as I'd like them to, which is better anyway. For now, it's time to hit the books again.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Spring Break
I have my flight plans for coming home. Here are the details:
Flying JetBlue
March 7
Depart: JFK - 4:40 p.m.
Arrive: Burbank - 8:00 p.m.
March 16
Depart: Burbank - 9:00 p.m.
Arrive: JFK - 5:03 a.m. (next day)
Flying JetBlue
March 7
Depart: JFK - 4:40 p.m.
Arrive: Burbank - 8:00 p.m.
March 16
Depart: Burbank - 9:00 p.m.
Arrive: JFK - 5:03 a.m. (next day)
Thursday, February 7, 2008
I Have Wheels
I am now mobile! Well, at least slightly more mobile than I was before. On Monday I went down the street to the local bike shop and bought a new bike! They finished assembling it today, so I picked it up and took it for a ride back to the Seminary. It's a great ride, probably the best bike I've ever owned (seeing as I've only ever owned two bikes, I suppose that's not saying much). But it's a bright spot in the middle of a pretty dark week. Here is a picture of the bike. It's a 2007 model of this bike, which is actually more like a better version of this bike, in case you want to see the specs.
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