For the Last Time?

I keep getting close to saying that I'm coming home for the last time before graduation, but it seems like something always keeps getting in my way before doing that. In this case, it ended up being a whirlwind ride at the airport, a set of unexpected circumstances, and an amazing blessing that came from nowhere. So here's how my ride home went over the weekend.

I arrived at Ontario airport late on Sunday evening, pretty downtrodden. I had to wipe fresh tears from my eyes as I was walking up to the security checkpoint, waving painfully goodbye to my dad and girlfriend as I trudged slowly up to the TSA guard with my boarding pass and driver's license in hand. With all of five people going through the metal detectors, I zipped through security, refilling my emptied pockets and slipping my sandals back onto my feet. With my backpack and suitcase in hand, I sat down in one of the black leather chairs next to my gate, and started reading "Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy, and Fairy Tale." Written by Frederick Buechner, the book is about how in order to fully understand the Gospel's message, we have to realize that it speaks of terrible tragedy, divine comedy, and the fairy tale ending that no one expects and struggles to fully believe. But when we reach that point, we see the Gospel in its wholeness and the truth it speaks is more easily grasped. And at this point, understanding the tragedy of the Gospel was much easier to grasp.

About an hour before our flight was supposed to board, we received the announcement that our flight had been overbooked, and if "a few good men" would be willing to give up their seats, they'd receive a $400 voucher to use on any Delta flight. It wasn't a crazy idea, I thought, to give up my seat on this flight. After all, I'm not planning on going to classes tomorrow (Monday) anyway, so what difference would it make if I arrived later on Monday? So I decided to go up to the gate and at least see if it was a possibility. They said they'd call me back and let me know if it would work out to fly me to Philadelphia later on Monday. So I returned to my seat and called Cathy to let her know to be on standby in case I needed a ride back home. My parents weren't crazy about the idea of me giving up my seat, but for $400, why not give it a shot?

Soon the plane started boarding, and I assumed my seat would still be mine as they had not called me back to the gate. I checked with the gate before boarding, and after reading me my options for flights, they determined that they didn't need anyone to give up their seats anymore and thanked me for volunteering anyway. So I walked into the now long line to board my flight, slightly dejected but resigned to the fact that it would be over two months before seeing my family and girlfriend again. I called Cathy again to let her know that I would be on my way to Princeton shortly. I could hear the disappointment in her voice, and I could feel dampness accumulating below my eyes. But two months is not that long, and we had already done it once. We could to it again.

Then the comedy began. I approached the boarding door, and after scanning my boarding pass, I was informed that I had not been cleared to board the plane. "Please step over to the gate, and the attendants will assign you a new seat," I was kindly told. So back to the gate I went only to find out that no seats remained on my flight. "You were going to voluntarily give up your seat anyway, right?" Yes, that's right, I replied. They told me that I could either wait on standby for a few minutes to see if a new seat would open up or that I could go downstairs and they would book me on a new flight along with giving me the $400 voucher I had been promised before. But before I could answer, the attendant looked at her computer screen and said, "You know what, just head downstairs, I don't think anything will open up." With a wide smile, I thanked her for her assistance and quickly strolled back to the front of the terminal, backpack, suitcase and book about tragedy and comedy in hand. I called Cathy again, not more than 1o minutes after calling her before, to inform her that I indeed needed a ride back home. So down the stairs I quickly went and approached the front desk.

The conversation at the front gate was a long one with many twists and turns through the forest of flight bookings. Apparently this is the popular time of year to go to the East Coast as all of the flights they were looking at out of Ontario and LAX were completely booked. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever make it back to Princeton in time for classes. Then suddenly there was an opening. "I have a flight out of Orange County leaving at 1:00 pm, arriving in Philadelphia at 11:11 pm, with two seats open ... in first class." Well, I thought, it's my only way back to Princeton, so I suppose I have to take it, fully expecting to have to pay the difference. Only the bill never came. Because my situation had changed from a voluntarily no-board to a denied boarding, my options had opened up. Though the attendant had to get clearance from her supervisor to make the change, I was handed my first-class ticket back to Princeton along with a $400 voucher to use on any flight on Delta airlines or one of their partners. I had essentially been paid to not board my flight. Comical, to be sure, but an unexpected blessing with further unexpected (positive) consequences.

Cathy had to circle the airport a few times before I was able to get out to the curb, feeling overjoyed but still in disbelief. And then the fairy tale began. I had not thought about what I could use that voucher for but suddenly it became incredibly clear when discussing it with Cathy. You see, my classes end on April 29, and I don't officially graduate until May 22. That's almost a full month of sitting around at Princeton doing nothing except watching the grass grow. But now, with a $400 voucher in hand, I could come home for those three weeks, something I had not intended to do but desperately desired. And everything began to fall into place. I could either start looking for a job and start a job much earlier than I had anticipated. I would get to see family and friends far sooner than before. I would get to spend quality time with Cathy that I had not expected. And I would still be back to say goodbye to my Princeton friends and receive my degree without the painful wait in between. I remind myself to focus on the small blessings, but I had forgotten that sometimes God can give us huge blessings as well.

So after spending an extra few hours with Cathy I had not anticipated I would have, I was able to sleep soundly, and fly back to Princeton in style. I met three fascinating people on my way back (which I'll share more about later) and felt relaxed and rejuvenated upon arriving in Philadelphia. Tragedy, comedy, and fairy tale.

There is so much more to say, but I have to run to class. More to come later...

Moving Along

I always mean to update this more often. Then three weeks go by and I realize that I haven't written anything in awhile. So now seems like the proper time to get everything up to date.

Life has been on cruise control a bit over the last couple weeks. Things haven't necessarily been busy, but everything has been moving along at a steady pace, though there have been some pretty significant interruptions. Classes have been canceled three times already because of snow, and with a possible storm moving in tomorrow, there could be another cancellation (though most likely not, since this storm doesn't seem as bad and the previous ones). But despite that, life seems to be moving along as normal. The tension I was feeling earlier is still there, but now that I'm closer to being home, I certainly feel less tense.

A week away from Princeton can be so rejuvenating. Thankfully, the environment hasn't felt as draining as the past two years. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that all of the seniors now realize that we can't (or don't need to) be in competition with each other anymore. There has been a greater feeling of camaraderie this semester and greater desire to lift each other up rather than tear each other down. Sadly this has taken two years to have this feeling finally, but especially since this is a difficult year, it's certainly welcome.

I am becoming more aware of the fact that I won't be here anymore, and there is nothing sad about it. I will miss the friends I've made here and some of the lunchtime conversation, but I don't feel that I'll need to look over my shoulder has I leave this campus. I will have accomplished what I set out to do, and though the journey was not what I was expecting at all, I think it will have been a good experience, though one I won't be clamoring to repeat anytime soon. That's not to say I don't want to continue my education but I can't foresee it happening at an institution like Princeton. I've come to learn that faculty-student interactions are central to my ability to learn, and it's become apparent over the last three years that research-oriented schools simply don't have the structure in place to foster those types of collegial relationships. Earlier during my time here I think I would have wanted to reject any type of education model like this, but I'm beginning to realize that there is a place for this type of research and this type of school. I've just also become aware that it's not where I want to establish my career or vocation.

I'm looking forward to my family coming out for graduation. I'm looking forward to showing everyone where I've been studying for the last three years and the environment I've been able to enjoy during that time. I can't envision myself living on the East Coast, but I do enjoy aspects of it.

I'm also looking forward to the start of Spring Training games. Following baseball in the off-season has its joys, but especially this off-season, there was so little interaction and drama that the Hot Stove never felt like it got past a slow simmer. So especially this season I'm looking forward to baseball getting back into full swing. Dodger spring training games start Friday!

The last bit of exciting news before I end this post is that I have accomplished something I thought I wouldn't be able to do until after I got my Ph.D. As most of you know, I have been working on a research paper about Lesslie Newbigin, and I turned part of that research paper into an article and submitted it to the Princeton Theological Review. Last Thursday, I received an e-mail informing me that my article will be included in the next issue! It is incredibly exciting news for me, and I'm still in disbelief about it. I've been working on revisions frantically over the past few days and I have to turn in my next draft by Sunday, but I am thrilled and overjoyed. Let me know if you want to get a copy of it, and I will try to get as many as I can.

Next week I'm back at home, so I will update again once I'm back in Princeton. Until then...