It has taken three long years, and my patience and sanity have been tested immensely, but I am officially done with Seminary. I'm sitting in the airport right now, waiting to board my last flight back to CA from Princeton. I meant to post this a lot sooner, but the crazy rush to pack and get everything ready has been more time consuming than I imagined.
I finished my last class yesterday. It was hard to really consider it a class because it was simply attending a forum on Youth Ministry held by Princeton. There were no papers to be written, no requirements other than to be at every session. And it was quite rejuvenating, encouraging, empowering, and relaxing. I got to hear Shane Claiborne, Peter Gomes, and Kenda Dean speak on Youth Ministry. And I left the forum feeling ready to set into any role in the church, including youth ministry, without hesitation. And what more could I ask from my last class at Princeton, feeling ready to be sent out in the world?
So this is in many ways the end but it is also the beginning. I've spent three years trying to figure out my calling, whether the Church is any part of that, and what role I should fit into. After three years, while the edges remain fuzzy, many of those questions have solidified. And if you've been tracking along, you certainly know how those questions have been answered. But much more remains to be learned, discovered, tested, and tried. I don't know what the future holds completely, but I know God will be faithful throughout.
I will most likely continue this blog as I originally intended it when I first started it. Random musings of my theological mishaps will most likely covered the pages of my future blogs. So if you want to hear more about my thoughts and how they're developing, keep reading.
For those who have followed me through the last three years, thank you for your support and prayers over my time in seminary. I look forward to keeping you updated about what happens here at this new beginning...
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Almost the End
I almost should call this the last post before school ends because I don't know if I'll write anything next week, but this chapter will soon be closing. I have three finals left, one due next week on Wednesday, and two on Saturday. All papers. I have already completed two of my finals, so two classes (which includes my independent study) is done.
My independent study being done has given me the greatest relief and joy. I have been studying under a professor who is considered one of the leading (if not the leading) theologian on Missional Theology in the world. I turned in my paper to him last week and was able to sit down with him yesterday to discuss my work, and I was incredibly happy to hear his response. He gave me some good criticism and advice moving forward, but overall he was happy with my work and thought I had made some good contributions not only in general but also to some of the work he has been doing. So I was very happy to hear that and to know that I had received an A for my work. The grade is definitely nice, but it was even better to know that my work has been appreciated.
So now the rest seems pretty easy. It's not going to be too easy, but compared to this research paper, the rest is not as stressful. So I'm working diligently on everything, slowly chipping away at each project one at a time. It's been harder to stay motivated knowing that I'm so close to the end. But I want to finish strong, so that is what I'm pushing toward.
In other news, I have a summer job. I'll be working at Forest Home this summer as a staff dean. That means I'll be the pastoral presence for about 200 young adults (17-26 years of age) who work as program or support staff. So I am pretty excited about that. I wish I could be a little closer to home and church this summer, but this will work for the summer. I can come home in the fall and hopefully find something closer to home and family (and Cathy).
Now it's time for me to get going today, so I'll plan on updating once my finals are over.
My independent study being done has given me the greatest relief and joy. I have been studying under a professor who is considered one of the leading (if not the leading) theologian on Missional Theology in the world. I turned in my paper to him last week and was able to sit down with him yesterday to discuss my work, and I was incredibly happy to hear his response. He gave me some good criticism and advice moving forward, but overall he was happy with my work and thought I had made some good contributions not only in general but also to some of the work he has been doing. So I was very happy to hear that and to know that I had received an A for my work. The grade is definitely nice, but it was even better to know that my work has been appreciated.
So now the rest seems pretty easy. It's not going to be too easy, but compared to this research paper, the rest is not as stressful. So I'm working diligently on everything, slowly chipping away at each project one at a time. It's been harder to stay motivated knowing that I'm so close to the end. But I want to finish strong, so that is what I'm pushing toward.
In other news, I have a summer job. I'll be working at Forest Home this summer as a staff dean. That means I'll be the pastoral presence for about 200 young adults (17-26 years of age) who work as program or support staff. So I am pretty excited about that. I wish I could be a little closer to home and church this summer, but this will work for the summer. I can come home in the fall and hopefully find something closer to home and family (and Cathy).
Now it's time for me to get going today, so I'll plan on updating once my finals are over.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
For the Last Time?
I keep getting close to saying that I'm coming home for the last time before graduation, but it seems like something always keeps getting in my way before doing that. In this case, it ended up being a whirlwind ride at the airport, a set of unexpected circumstances, and an amazing blessing that came from nowhere. So here's how my ride home went over the weekend.
I arrived at Ontario airport late on Sunday evening, pretty downtrodden. I had to wipe fresh tears from my eyes as I was walking up to the security checkpoint, waving painfully goodbye to my dad and girlfriend as I trudged slowly up to the TSA guard with my boarding pass and driver's license in hand. With all of five people going through the metal detectors, I zipped through security, refilling my emptied pockets and slipping my sandals back onto my feet. With my backpack and suitcase in hand, I sat down in one of the black leather chairs next to my gate, and started reading "Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy, and Fairy Tale." Written by Frederick Buechner, the book is about how in order to fully understand the Gospel's message, we have to realize that it speaks of terrible tragedy, divine comedy, and the fairy tale ending that no one expects and struggles to fully believe. But when we reach that point, we see the Gospel in its wholeness and the truth it speaks is more easily grasped. And at this point, understanding the tragedy of the Gospel was much easier to grasp.
About an hour before our flight was supposed to board, we received the announcement that our flight had been overbooked, and if "a few good men" would be willing to give up their seats, they'd receive a $400 voucher to use on any Delta flight. It wasn't a crazy idea, I thought, to give up my seat on this flight. After all, I'm not planning on going to classes tomorrow (Monday) anyway, so what difference would it make if I arrived later on Monday? So I decided to go up to the gate and at least see if it was a possibility. They said they'd call me back and let me know if it would work out to fly me to Philadelphia later on Monday. So I returned to my seat and called Cathy to let her know to be on standby in case I needed a ride back home. My parents weren't crazy about the idea of me giving up my seat, but for $400, why not give it a shot?
Soon the plane started boarding, and I assumed my seat would still be mine as they had not called me back to the gate. I checked with the gate before boarding, and after reading me my options for flights, they determined that they didn't need anyone to give up their seats anymore and thanked me for volunteering anyway. So I walked into the now long line to board my flight, slightly dejected but resigned to the fact that it would be over two months before seeing my family and girlfriend again. I called Cathy again to let her know that I would be on my way to Princeton shortly. I could hear the disappointment in her voice, and I could feel dampness accumulating below my eyes. But two months is not that long, and we had already done it once. We could to it again.
Then the comedy began. I approached the boarding door, and after scanning my boarding pass, I was informed that I had not been cleared to board the plane. "Please step over to the gate, and the attendants will assign you a new seat," I was kindly told. So back to the gate I went only to find out that no seats remained on my flight. "You were going to voluntarily give up your seat anyway, right?" Yes, that's right, I replied. They told me that I could either wait on standby for a few minutes to see if a new seat would open up or that I could go downstairs and they would book me on a new flight along with giving me the $400 voucher I had been promised before. But before I could answer, the attendant looked at her computer screen and said, "You know what, just head downstairs, I don't think anything will open up." With a wide smile, I thanked her for her assistance and quickly strolled back to the front of the terminal, backpack, suitcase and book about tragedy and comedy in hand. I called Cathy again, not more than 1o minutes after calling her before, to inform her that I indeed needed a ride back home. So down the stairs I quickly went and approached the front desk.
The conversation at the front gate was a long one with many twists and turns through the forest of flight bookings. Apparently this is the popular time of year to go to the East Coast as all of the flights they were looking at out of Ontario and LAX were completely booked. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever make it back to Princeton in time for classes. Then suddenly there was an opening. "I have a flight out of Orange County leaving at 1:00 pm, arriving in Philadelphia at 11:11 pm, with two seats open ... in first class." Well, I thought, it's my only way back to Princeton, so I suppose I have to take it, fully expecting to have to pay the difference. Only the bill never came. Because my situation had changed from a voluntarily no-board to a denied boarding, my options had opened up. Though the attendant had to get clearance from her supervisor to make the change, I was handed my first-class ticket back to Princeton along with a $400 voucher to use on any flight on Delta airlines or one of their partners. I had essentially been paid to not board my flight. Comical, to be sure, but an unexpected blessing with further unexpected (positive) consequences.
Cathy had to circle the airport a few times before I was able to get out to the curb, feeling overjoyed but still in disbelief. And then the fairy tale began. I had not thought about what I could use that voucher for but suddenly it became incredibly clear when discussing it with Cathy. You see, my classes end on April 29, and I don't officially graduate until May 22. That's almost a full month of sitting around at Princeton doing nothing except watching the grass grow. But now, with a $400 voucher in hand, I could come home for those three weeks, something I had not intended to do but desperately desired. And everything began to fall into place. I could either start looking for a job and start a job much earlier than I had anticipated. I would get to see family and friends far sooner than before. I would get to spend quality time with Cathy that I had not expected. And I would still be back to say goodbye to my Princeton friends and receive my degree without the painful wait in between. I remind myself to focus on the small blessings, but I had forgotten that sometimes God can give us huge blessings as well.
So after spending an extra few hours with Cathy I had not anticipated I would have, I was able to sleep soundly, and fly back to Princeton in style. I met three fascinating people on my way back (which I'll share more about later) and felt relaxed and rejuvenated upon arriving in Philadelphia. Tragedy, comedy, and fairy tale.
There is so much more to say, but I have to run to class. More to come later...
I arrived at Ontario airport late on Sunday evening, pretty downtrodden. I had to wipe fresh tears from my eyes as I was walking up to the security checkpoint, waving painfully goodbye to my dad and girlfriend as I trudged slowly up to the TSA guard with my boarding pass and driver's license in hand. With all of five people going through the metal detectors, I zipped through security, refilling my emptied pockets and slipping my sandals back onto my feet. With my backpack and suitcase in hand, I sat down in one of the black leather chairs next to my gate, and started reading "Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy, and Fairy Tale." Written by Frederick Buechner, the book is about how in order to fully understand the Gospel's message, we have to realize that it speaks of terrible tragedy, divine comedy, and the fairy tale ending that no one expects and struggles to fully believe. But when we reach that point, we see the Gospel in its wholeness and the truth it speaks is more easily grasped. And at this point, understanding the tragedy of the Gospel was much easier to grasp.
About an hour before our flight was supposed to board, we received the announcement that our flight had been overbooked, and if "a few good men" would be willing to give up their seats, they'd receive a $400 voucher to use on any Delta flight. It wasn't a crazy idea, I thought, to give up my seat on this flight. After all, I'm not planning on going to classes tomorrow (Monday) anyway, so what difference would it make if I arrived later on Monday? So I decided to go up to the gate and at least see if it was a possibility. They said they'd call me back and let me know if it would work out to fly me to Philadelphia later on Monday. So I returned to my seat and called Cathy to let her know to be on standby in case I needed a ride back home. My parents weren't crazy about the idea of me giving up my seat, but for $400, why not give it a shot?
Soon the plane started boarding, and I assumed my seat would still be mine as they had not called me back to the gate. I checked with the gate before boarding, and after reading me my options for flights, they determined that they didn't need anyone to give up their seats anymore and thanked me for volunteering anyway. So I walked into the now long line to board my flight, slightly dejected but resigned to the fact that it would be over two months before seeing my family and girlfriend again. I called Cathy again to let her know that I would be on my way to Princeton shortly. I could hear the disappointment in her voice, and I could feel dampness accumulating below my eyes. But two months is not that long, and we had already done it once. We could to it again.
Then the comedy began. I approached the boarding door, and after scanning my boarding pass, I was informed that I had not been cleared to board the plane. "Please step over to the gate, and the attendants will assign you a new seat," I was kindly told. So back to the gate I went only to find out that no seats remained on my flight. "You were going to voluntarily give up your seat anyway, right?" Yes, that's right, I replied. They told me that I could either wait on standby for a few minutes to see if a new seat would open up or that I could go downstairs and they would book me on a new flight along with giving me the $400 voucher I had been promised before. But before I could answer, the attendant looked at her computer screen and said, "You know what, just head downstairs, I don't think anything will open up." With a wide smile, I thanked her for her assistance and quickly strolled back to the front of the terminal, backpack, suitcase and book about tragedy and comedy in hand. I called Cathy again, not more than 1o minutes after calling her before, to inform her that I indeed needed a ride back home. So down the stairs I quickly went and approached the front desk.
The conversation at the front gate was a long one with many twists and turns through the forest of flight bookings. Apparently this is the popular time of year to go to the East Coast as all of the flights they were looking at out of Ontario and LAX were completely booked. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever make it back to Princeton in time for classes. Then suddenly there was an opening. "I have a flight out of Orange County leaving at 1:00 pm, arriving in Philadelphia at 11:11 pm, with two seats open ... in first class." Well, I thought, it's my only way back to Princeton, so I suppose I have to take it, fully expecting to have to pay the difference. Only the bill never came. Because my situation had changed from a voluntarily no-board to a denied boarding, my options had opened up. Though the attendant had to get clearance from her supervisor to make the change, I was handed my first-class ticket back to Princeton along with a $400 voucher to use on any flight on Delta airlines or one of their partners. I had essentially been paid to not board my flight. Comical, to be sure, but an unexpected blessing with further unexpected (positive) consequences.
Cathy had to circle the airport a few times before I was able to get out to the curb, feeling overjoyed but still in disbelief. And then the fairy tale began. I had not thought about what I could use that voucher for but suddenly it became incredibly clear when discussing it with Cathy. You see, my classes end on April 29, and I don't officially graduate until May 22. That's almost a full month of sitting around at Princeton doing nothing except watching the grass grow. But now, with a $400 voucher in hand, I could come home for those three weeks, something I had not intended to do but desperately desired. And everything began to fall into place. I could either start looking for a job and start a job much earlier than I had anticipated. I would get to see family and friends far sooner than before. I would get to spend quality time with Cathy that I had not expected. And I would still be back to say goodbye to my Princeton friends and receive my degree without the painful wait in between. I remind myself to focus on the small blessings, but I had forgotten that sometimes God can give us huge blessings as well.
So after spending an extra few hours with Cathy I had not anticipated I would have, I was able to sleep soundly, and fly back to Princeton in style. I met three fascinating people on my way back (which I'll share more about later) and felt relaxed and rejuvenated upon arriving in Philadelphia. Tragedy, comedy, and fairy tale.
There is so much more to say, but I have to run to class. More to come later...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Moving Along
I always mean to update this more often. Then three weeks go by and I realize that I haven't written anything in awhile. So now seems like the proper time to get everything up to date.
Life has been on cruise control a bit over the last couple weeks. Things haven't necessarily been busy, but everything has been moving along at a steady pace, though there have been some pretty significant interruptions. Classes have been canceled three times already because of snow, and with a possible storm moving in tomorrow, there could be another cancellation (though most likely not, since this storm doesn't seem as bad and the previous ones). But despite that, life seems to be moving along as normal. The tension I was feeling earlier is still there, but now that I'm closer to being home, I certainly feel less tense.
A week away from Princeton can be so rejuvenating. Thankfully, the environment hasn't felt as draining as the past two years. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that all of the seniors now realize that we can't (or don't need to) be in competition with each other anymore. There has been a greater feeling of camaraderie this semester and greater desire to lift each other up rather than tear each other down. Sadly this has taken two years to have this feeling finally, but especially since this is a difficult year, it's certainly welcome.
I am becoming more aware of the fact that I won't be here anymore, and there is nothing sad about it. I will miss the friends I've made here and some of the lunchtime conversation, but I don't feel that I'll need to look over my shoulder has I leave this campus. I will have accomplished what I set out to do, and though the journey was not what I was expecting at all, I think it will have been a good experience, though one I won't be clamoring to repeat anytime soon. That's not to say I don't want to continue my education but I can't foresee it happening at an institution like Princeton. I've come to learn that faculty-student interactions are central to my ability to learn, and it's become apparent over the last three years that research-oriented schools simply don't have the structure in place to foster those types of collegial relationships. Earlier during my time here I think I would have wanted to reject any type of education model like this, but I'm beginning to realize that there is a place for this type of research and this type of school. I've just also become aware that it's not where I want to establish my career or vocation.
I'm looking forward to my family coming out for graduation. I'm looking forward to showing everyone where I've been studying for the last three years and the environment I've been able to enjoy during that time. I can't envision myself living on the East Coast, but I do enjoy aspects of it.
I'm also looking forward to the start of Spring Training games. Following baseball in the off-season has its joys, but especially this off-season, there was so little interaction and drama that the Hot Stove never felt like it got past a slow simmer. So especially this season I'm looking forward to baseball getting back into full swing. Dodger spring training games start Friday!
The last bit of exciting news before I end this post is that I have accomplished something I thought I wouldn't be able to do until after I got my Ph.D. As most of you know, I have been working on a research paper about Lesslie Newbigin, and I turned part of that research paper into an article and submitted it to the Princeton Theological Review. Last Thursday, I received an e-mail informing me that my article will be included in the next issue! It is incredibly exciting news for me, and I'm still in disbelief about it. I've been working on revisions frantically over the past few days and I have to turn in my next draft by Sunday, but I am thrilled and overjoyed. Let me know if you want to get a copy of it, and I will try to get as many as I can.
Next week I'm back at home, so I will update again once I'm back in Princeton. Until then...
Life has been on cruise control a bit over the last couple weeks. Things haven't necessarily been busy, but everything has been moving along at a steady pace, though there have been some pretty significant interruptions. Classes have been canceled three times already because of snow, and with a possible storm moving in tomorrow, there could be another cancellation (though most likely not, since this storm doesn't seem as bad and the previous ones). But despite that, life seems to be moving along as normal. The tension I was feeling earlier is still there, but now that I'm closer to being home, I certainly feel less tense.
A week away from Princeton can be so rejuvenating. Thankfully, the environment hasn't felt as draining as the past two years. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that all of the seniors now realize that we can't (or don't need to) be in competition with each other anymore. There has been a greater feeling of camaraderie this semester and greater desire to lift each other up rather than tear each other down. Sadly this has taken two years to have this feeling finally, but especially since this is a difficult year, it's certainly welcome.
I am becoming more aware of the fact that I won't be here anymore, and there is nothing sad about it. I will miss the friends I've made here and some of the lunchtime conversation, but I don't feel that I'll need to look over my shoulder has I leave this campus. I will have accomplished what I set out to do, and though the journey was not what I was expecting at all, I think it will have been a good experience, though one I won't be clamoring to repeat anytime soon. That's not to say I don't want to continue my education but I can't foresee it happening at an institution like Princeton. I've come to learn that faculty-student interactions are central to my ability to learn, and it's become apparent over the last three years that research-oriented schools simply don't have the structure in place to foster those types of collegial relationships. Earlier during my time here I think I would have wanted to reject any type of education model like this, but I'm beginning to realize that there is a place for this type of research and this type of school. I've just also become aware that it's not where I want to establish my career or vocation.
I'm looking forward to my family coming out for graduation. I'm looking forward to showing everyone where I've been studying for the last three years and the environment I've been able to enjoy during that time. I can't envision myself living on the East Coast, but I do enjoy aspects of it.
I'm also looking forward to the start of Spring Training games. Following baseball in the off-season has its joys, but especially this off-season, there was so little interaction and drama that the Hot Stove never felt like it got past a slow simmer. So especially this season I'm looking forward to baseball getting back into full swing. Dodger spring training games start Friday!
The last bit of exciting news before I end this post is that I have accomplished something I thought I wouldn't be able to do until after I got my Ph.D. As most of you know, I have been working on a research paper about Lesslie Newbigin, and I turned part of that research paper into an article and submitted it to the Princeton Theological Review. Last Thursday, I received an e-mail informing me that my article will be included in the next issue! It is incredibly exciting news for me, and I'm still in disbelief about it. I've been working on revisions frantically over the past few days and I have to turn in my next draft by Sunday, but I am thrilled and overjoyed. Let me know if you want to get a copy of it, and I will try to get as many as I can.
Next week I'm back at home, so I will update again once I'm back in Princeton. Until then...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Joys and Struggles
The last couple weeks have been an interesting up and down journey. The snow had quite a bit to do with that, which surprisingly ended up being more stressful than restful. All of my classes on Thursday were canceled along with my usual commitment to the children's ministry program at Allentown Pres. It did give me a good opportunity to spend time with Caleb and Rachel, who I hadn't been able to spend much time with due to my workload. Always nice to get off of campus to spend time with friends (especially when they cook good food for you ;-) )
This semester has actually been much more difficult than I was anticipating, and it doesn't necessarily have to do with the work that is expected of me. My class load is actually the smallest I've had since I've been in seminary, and overall the demands being put on me are not that great. The psychological aspect is what is killing me. Being on the homestretch has been a pretty big obstacle to overcome ("senioritis" for those who prefer that term). I'm struggling to finish strong, something I wasn't expecting to be a challenge. I typically end well in most things I do, but when the reward for finishing is physically more distant than before, it affects my motivation. Certainly I'll leave with a degree from a prestigious school, and I want to be able to say that I left on a high note rather than sour note. But I also want to be home. The pain of the distance away from my family, friends, and church has been more palpable precisely because it's so close now. In just over three months, I'll be on a train making my way back across the country where I'm hoping I can settle for the foreseeable future. I'm chomping at the bit to start working, to be involved in ministry, hopefully teaching as well. So I feel something akin to a caged animal, ready to burst through its bars an unleashed. And the feeling of being constrained is pulling me away from focusing on my work.
Yet I don't want to get sucked into an attitude I've seen so many others succumb to, an attitude that chooses to forsake the present in pursuit of the future. I don't want these last three months at Princeton to pass me by, leaving me sorrowful that I didn't take advantage of everything possible while I was here. I am surrounded by so many intelligent people that I want to be able to soak everything in as much as possible before leaving.
So I'm left with this tension between longing for the future and desire to be fully present in the moment. And it's that pulling that I think is causing the most pain. It's the pain that knowing when I forsake the present for the future I'm hurting myself and making myself less useful to the people who want me to do well out here (both in school and at the churches where I serve), and when I focus too strongly on the present, I risk shutting out the relationships I long for back home.
Despite the tension, I am striving to press onward. I have had to rely constantly on the power of prayer over the last three weeks. And I've felt those prayers very powerfully over these last weeks. I've been sustained by the support of friends and loved ones, and all of this through the power of the Spirit. And having that support has made it much easier to bear getting through this last semester.
Cathy has been especially wonderful in helping me, and I am so thankful for her support and love. I'm really thankful to have a girlfriend who knows me so well and can speak the right encouraging words that I need to hear. I was particularly happy when I received my Valentine's Day present from her, which I think captures how well she knows me. I was very happy when I opened my mailbox to find a copy of "The Familiar Letters of John and Abigail Adams." =) The perfect gift for Valentine's Day for a history geek like me. Even though the distance has been a bit harder because we're apart, in a strange way it's actually made it easier to get through the tension of this semester because I know she's supporting me just as I'm trying to support her.
More to come as the semester continues on. I'll be back in CA from March 7 - 14, and I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends when I'm back. After that, it's two more months of school until I can finally say that I have made it and reached the culmination. Until then, I continue to trudge through the tension, knowing that it will be worth it in the end.
This semester has actually been much more difficult than I was anticipating, and it doesn't necessarily have to do with the work that is expected of me. My class load is actually the smallest I've had since I've been in seminary, and overall the demands being put on me are not that great. The psychological aspect is what is killing me. Being on the homestretch has been a pretty big obstacle to overcome ("senioritis" for those who prefer that term). I'm struggling to finish strong, something I wasn't expecting to be a challenge. I typically end well in most things I do, but when the reward for finishing is physically more distant than before, it affects my motivation. Certainly I'll leave with a degree from a prestigious school, and I want to be able to say that I left on a high note rather than sour note. But I also want to be home. The pain of the distance away from my family, friends, and church has been more palpable precisely because it's so close now. In just over three months, I'll be on a train making my way back across the country where I'm hoping I can settle for the foreseeable future. I'm chomping at the bit to start working, to be involved in ministry, hopefully teaching as well. So I feel something akin to a caged animal, ready to burst through its bars an unleashed. And the feeling of being constrained is pulling me away from focusing on my work.
Yet I don't want to get sucked into an attitude I've seen so many others succumb to, an attitude that chooses to forsake the present in pursuit of the future. I don't want these last three months at Princeton to pass me by, leaving me sorrowful that I didn't take advantage of everything possible while I was here. I am surrounded by so many intelligent people that I want to be able to soak everything in as much as possible before leaving.
So I'm left with this tension between longing for the future and desire to be fully present in the moment. And it's that pulling that I think is causing the most pain. It's the pain that knowing when I forsake the present for the future I'm hurting myself and making myself less useful to the people who want me to do well out here (both in school and at the churches where I serve), and when I focus too strongly on the present, I risk shutting out the relationships I long for back home.
Despite the tension, I am striving to press onward. I have had to rely constantly on the power of prayer over the last three weeks. And I've felt those prayers very powerfully over these last weeks. I've been sustained by the support of friends and loved ones, and all of this through the power of the Spirit. And having that support has made it much easier to bear getting through this last semester.
Cathy has been especially wonderful in helping me, and I am so thankful for her support and love. I'm really thankful to have a girlfriend who knows me so well and can speak the right encouraging words that I need to hear. I was particularly happy when I received my Valentine's Day present from her, which I think captures how well she knows me. I was very happy when I opened my mailbox to find a copy of "The Familiar Letters of John and Abigail Adams." =) The perfect gift for Valentine's Day for a history geek like me. Even though the distance has been a bit harder because we're apart, in a strange way it's actually made it easier to get through the tension of this semester because I know she's supporting me just as I'm trying to support her.
More to come as the semester continues on. I'll be back in CA from March 7 - 14, and I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends when I'm back. After that, it's two more months of school until I can finally say that I have made it and reached the culmination. Until then, I continue to trudge through the tension, knowing that it will be worth it in the end.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
A New Semester, The Beginning of the End
It's officially the beginning of the end, at least for this part of my school career anyway. I have 15 more credits to work through before I finish out my M.Div. and fly back to CA to begin my post-Masters life. It's not as scary as I was anticipating, though there is still that fear of uncertainty, walking into the unknown. Thankfully I have three more months before I really have to take that leap of faith, and hopefully things will work out so I will have a clear idea of where I'm headed and what my job will look like.
As is my custom (unintentionally), my last semester ended up being one of my most intense. I'm not really sure why it ends up that way. I'm taking seven classes, though three of them are only one unit, leaving four that are full 3-credit classes. Two of them are language translation classes, one in Greek and the other in Hebrew. I am taking a couple of the classes pass-fail, which will make the work load a little more bearable so that I can experiment and try some new things I wouldn't necessarily do otherwise. So I'm in for a bit of a crazy semester, but I'm excited about all of my classes. There aren't any of them that I'm particularly dreading or nervous about. It should work out to be a pretty great semester to end out my time at Princeton.
Michael Bruner told me when I left for Princeton in 2007 that my time would go by quickly and that I would walk away from Princeton wishing there was more that I had taken advantage of. When I met with him again over Christmas break, we both sat in wonder and shock at how quickly that time had gone by. It has been an intense, trying, surprising, uplifting, and encouraging three years. So many things about Princeton fell short of my expectations yet so many met them and even exceeded them. It has been very easy to knock on Princeton during my time here (often for different reasons than others might expect) but when it is all said and done, I have come away from this place with a pretty stellar education. I can't say that lightly or flippantly either. There were many points when I wished I had gone to Fuller instead, that I should transfer, even just putting my M.Div on the shelf and pursuing something else. But the perseverance and struggling and wrestling has paid off in ways that I can't really describe. I hope when I have had time to debrief from my time here that I will be able to put my experience into words more clearly. I'm not sure I would want to go through this particular experience again, but I'm grateful that I went through it and came out standing on the other side.
Of course, this talk is all premature. I still have three tough months ahead of me, probably the three toughest months of my entire educational career. I still have a research paper to finish, two books to translate and exegete, 11 films to watch and critique theologically, an entire genre of Biblical literature (Israelite wisdom) that I have to try to comprehend, and a workshop on worship leading to complete. And in case you want to know what classes those correspond to, here is my class schedule for this semester:
Greek Exegesis of Ephesians
Hebrew Exegesis of Samuel
Israel's Wisdom Literature
Faith, Film, and Spiritual Formation in Young Adults
Word and Act: Service in the Lord's Day
Field Education: Teaching Ministry
I am also attending a forum on youth ministry in April (through Princeton's Institute for Youth Ministry), and while that's a class, it's not until April and after I have completed the work for my other classes.
So there is plenty to do and much left to learn (that process never ends) but I'm excited to begin thinking about life after seminary, and all that that entails.
More to come in the coming weeks...
As is my custom (unintentionally), my last semester ended up being one of my most intense. I'm not really sure why it ends up that way. I'm taking seven classes, though three of them are only one unit, leaving four that are full 3-credit classes. Two of them are language translation classes, one in Greek and the other in Hebrew. I am taking a couple of the classes pass-fail, which will make the work load a little more bearable so that I can experiment and try some new things I wouldn't necessarily do otherwise. So I'm in for a bit of a crazy semester, but I'm excited about all of my classes. There aren't any of them that I'm particularly dreading or nervous about. It should work out to be a pretty great semester to end out my time at Princeton.
Michael Bruner told me when I left for Princeton in 2007 that my time would go by quickly and that I would walk away from Princeton wishing there was more that I had taken advantage of. When I met with him again over Christmas break, we both sat in wonder and shock at how quickly that time had gone by. It has been an intense, trying, surprising, uplifting, and encouraging three years. So many things about Princeton fell short of my expectations yet so many met them and even exceeded them. It has been very easy to knock on Princeton during my time here (often for different reasons than others might expect) but when it is all said and done, I have come away from this place with a pretty stellar education. I can't say that lightly or flippantly either. There were many points when I wished I had gone to Fuller instead, that I should transfer, even just putting my M.Div on the shelf and pursuing something else. But the perseverance and struggling and wrestling has paid off in ways that I can't really describe. I hope when I have had time to debrief from my time here that I will be able to put my experience into words more clearly. I'm not sure I would want to go through this particular experience again, but I'm grateful that I went through it and came out standing on the other side.
Of course, this talk is all premature. I still have three tough months ahead of me, probably the three toughest months of my entire educational career. I still have a research paper to finish, two books to translate and exegete, 11 films to watch and critique theologically, an entire genre of Biblical literature (Israelite wisdom) that I have to try to comprehend, and a workshop on worship leading to complete. And in case you want to know what classes those correspond to, here is my class schedule for this semester:
Greek Exegesis of Ephesians
Hebrew Exegesis of Samuel
Israel's Wisdom Literature
Faith, Film, and Spiritual Formation in Young Adults
Word and Act: Service in the Lord's Day
Field Education: Teaching Ministry
I am also attending a forum on youth ministry in April (through Princeton's Institute for Youth Ministry), and while that's a class, it's not until April and after I have completed the work for my other classes.
So there is plenty to do and much left to learn (that process never ends) but I'm excited to begin thinking about life after seminary, and all that that entails.
More to come in the coming weeks...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Rewritten Essay
Another update will be coming soon (it has been an insane week and will continue to be insane as it continues) but I wanted to post my rewritten essay for my Issues in the Theology of Scripture class. I can't get the footnotes to post, so you'll have to trust that I've cited things correctly to give credit where it's due and that my points are supported in places. But here is what I wrote after studying the issue for three weeks. Most of the change comes at the end (with completely new paragraphs at the end) but I've made a few wording changes and tweaked things significantly in the interpretation section. Feel free to leave comments!
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Reading the Bible Faithfully
To say that the Bible is true means that the sacred texts of the Christian community are a trustworthy source of guidance concerning God’s relationship for humanity and what that relationship requires of those who follow God. To interpret the Bible faithfully, one must read it in a way that takes into account the whole story of the Bible, which can include but does not necessitate an understanding of the historical and cultural context from which the Bible was written.
We must begin by asking what the Bible is, which is a complex task. There are at least two different accepted Bibles in the Church: the uniformly accepted 66 books of the Old and New Testaments, and the Old Testament apocryphal books accepted as deutero-canonical by the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches. This raises the question of why certain books were included in the canon while others were not. We have evidence that there were many gospels circulating in the early centuries of the first millennium. Further, the codices and lists of the canonical books show that the Bible’s texts changed throughout the first three centuries of the Church’s existence. Texts such as the Shepherd of Hermes and the Didache were eventually cut from the canon, while books such as 2 Peter and Jude were contested additions to it. Looking at the criteria for canonical books becomes critical to understanding why some texts were chosen over others, particularly when some of the books seem to be informative and historically useful to the Church (such as the Didache).
One reason the books were selected by Christian communities is that they were written by the Apostles or their close followers. The early church found it important to include books from the apostolic tradition, because their writings best reflected the story of Jesus and the nature of God’s work in the world. While some scholars, such as Bart Ehrman, suggest that the early church fabricated stories about Jesus in order to give him a God-like status, this argument imports modern notions about reality (particularly naturalistic and materialistic perspectives) into the first century world. Importing these philosophical perspectives into a first century worldview which was unaware of sciences like biology and psychology is anachronistic. Regardless of whether their understanding of the world is scientifically accurate or not, the important point is that the writers of the Biblical texts believed that what they were reporting was true (a point we will return to later).
Biblical texts were also chosen because they reflected the traditions of the Church throughout its history, including the history of Israel. This was an important criterion for the early church fathers who argued for the inclusion and exclusion of particular books. One argument by scholars, such as Elaine Pagels, suggests that the early church was politically motivated to pick and change texts that gave Jesus a particular image in order to stamp out competing strands of Christianity, such as Gnosticism. However, the historical evidence shows that Christianity (until the time of Constantine) was in no political or financial position to pursue such an endeavor. By the time of Constantine, most of the canon was well established, making this argument somewhat sketchy. Overall, there is reasonable evidence to believe that the early church was motivated out of a genuine desire to transmit the story of Jesus’ life faithfully rather than to fabricate a story or emphasize particular agendas in order to dominate other visions of Jesus in the first century.
A final consideration for why canonical texts were chosen is the original languages of the texts. The emphasis on the original languages became critically important on two occasions in history. The first occurred when Jerome translated the canon into Latin and chose the Hebrew Old Testament over the Septuagint ( the Greek Old Testament which including the Apocrypha). While Augustine argued that the Greek text had been the scripture used by the Church from its beginning in the first century, Jerome believed the Hebrew texts should be used because they were the original texts of the Old Testament. This argument returned during the Reformation, when Luther chose not to include the Old Testament Apocrypha in his translation on the same grounds. The emphasis on original languages is valid because we know the Greek Old Testament has additions (i.e. the Apocrypha) that were not originally written in Hebrew, meaning they have not been a part of the larger Church tradition (including Israel’s history). Even the sects of Christianity that use the Apocrypha acknowledge that it is deutero-canonical or of a lesser authority than the Old and New Testaments. Does that invalidate the Apocrypha, meaning we should not consult it at all? No, because it still provides important historical and cultural contexts that help us better interpret the Bible (a point to which we will return). However, this does not make it a source for truth, the next point of discussion.
When we say the Bible is true, this does not mean that the Bible is accurate on every historical and scientific point. Some churches do argue for the complete inerrancy of the Bible (i.e. the Bible has no mistakes or discrepancies of any kind), but inerrancy assumes that the writers and original audience of the Bible had the same attitude and approach toward science and history as modern society. The Bible is not always scientifically or historically correct. For example, the Bible’s cosmology assumes the earth is flat and surrounded by water around, above (being held up by the sky, which is a large dome), and below. Modern science clearly shows this to be an inaccurate understanding of the universe. Also, some of the historical facts, particularly pertaining to numbers and dates, seem skewed if not insupportable. Often this is because numbers carry a symbolic meaning rather than a literal one. Numbers like 3, 7, and 12 became important because of their significance to the Israelite community. Sometimes, numbers may have been exaggerated to emphasize or embellish a story, and dates may have been changed to line up with important events. In the Gospel of John, Jesus is crucified on Thursday rather than Friday (as recorded in Matthew, Mark, and Luke) because the Thursday of Passover was the day the sacrificial lamb was slaughtered. These discrepancies do not invalidate the stories; rather, they show that dates and numbers may have been changed for literary and social reasons.
The Bible is true because it is trustworthy account about God’s relationship with humanity and what that relationship requires of humanity. The Bible is not meant to be a history or science book, though the Church should affirm the historical nature of the Bible to an extent. These are not stories fabricated by the early church nor are they metaphors (as some scholars suggest) that have significant meaning. Paul says on a few different occasions – particularly in I Corinthians – that if the death and resurrection of Christ did not happen, then Christianity is a waste. History confirms the accuracy of some of the Bibles stories (such as the crucifixion) while it casts doubt on others, and the Church can be honest about this. But the Bible’s truth transcends history and science while not ignoring them. The truth the Church wants to affirm is that God entered history and acted through the works of Israel and Jesus Christ to reconcile the entire world to God’s self. On those points, the Bible is a trustworthy and valid source to affirm that truth. While every historical detail may not be accurate, history does affirm enough of the Bible to enable the Church to call it true.
To garner the truth of the Bible, the Church must employ good interpretation, which begins with the translation of the texts. One option for good interpretation is to have every Christian learn Greek and Hebrew, and then read the Bible in its original languages. Aside from being impractical, this is unnecessary. A central message of Pentecost is that the Gospel can be translated into any language without losing the core of the message. This does not set the criteria for choosing what texts should be included in the canon. Rather, it opens the possibility that the Church in any culture and context can read the Bible and interpret it well.
There are two layers of interpreting the Bible well. The first layer takes into account the historical, cultural, and literary frameworks of the Bible. These are the tools that modern Biblical scholarship has used to help the Church better understand the texts. These tools help the Church better understand what the Bible meant to its original audience so it can better understand what it means for the contemporary Church. They should be used to construct good translations which take into account the historical and cultural context of the Bible, translating it into the language of the new audience. The NRSV, NIV, NASB, and the Message Bible are examples of good translations or paraphrases, while the KJV or NKJV would represent less reliable translations.
The second layer of interpretation is a critical reading of good translations the Bible. While the contributions of Biblical scholarship are vital, they should not be considered the only valid methods to interpret the Bible. If Biblical scholarship has provided lay readers with the best translations possible (which most good English translations have), the cultural and historical context will come through in the translation, at least in part. A layperson’s reading of the Bible can be a valid interpretation if that layperson is reading a good translation and with an approach that seeks to understand texts within their literary contexts (i.e. looking at an entire text, not proof-texting) and the greater context of the canon. The historical and cultural contexts can help lay readers better understand the Bible, but if they are reading a good translation with a critical eye, these tools should not be necessities to interpreting the Bible well.
There is a third element to interpretation: the church. While it is important for lay readers to be able to read the Bible and interpret it without using the tools of Biblical scholarship, there also need to be accountability to ensure that interpretations do not undermine the truth that the Church seeks to proclaim. The Church takes on this role in Biblical interpretation. Throughout the history of the Church, the interpretation of the Bible has been a communal practice, providing both context and accountability for the interpretation. No interpretation of the Bible is valid if the person or group interpreting it purposely puts themselves outside the community of the Church. Rather, it is through the communal practice of the Church that good interpretations of Scripture are made.
Finally, the Holy Spirit must play a part in good interpretation. While this is a complex issue – discerning where the Spirit is moving, how the Spirit works through the Bible, etc – the fundamental way this happens is through prayer. Asking the Holy Spirit to be a part of the interpretative process and to illuminate the truth in Scripture is foundational to good interpretations of Scripture. The Church also plays a foundational role in discerning the movement and work of the Holy Spirit through the interpretation of Scripture. The accountability of the Church community will always be a central aspect of Biblical interpretation. Finally, if we take the message of Scripture seriously that the central ministry of the Church is the proclamation of the Gospel, then every interpretation of Scripture should ultimately support that ministry. This is not to say that every verse in Scripture specifically has to address the ministry of Proclamation of the Gospel, as there are multiple ministries in the Church. Rather, no interpretation of Scripture should undermine that interpretation, and ultimately our interpretations of Scripture should lead us to proclamation.
--
Reading the Bible Faithfully
To say that the Bible is true means that the sacred texts of the Christian community are a trustworthy source of guidance concerning God’s relationship for humanity and what that relationship requires of those who follow God. To interpret the Bible faithfully, one must read it in a way that takes into account the whole story of the Bible, which can include but does not necessitate an understanding of the historical and cultural context from which the Bible was written.
We must begin by asking what the Bible is, which is a complex task. There are at least two different accepted Bibles in the Church: the uniformly accepted 66 books of the Old and New Testaments, and the Old Testament apocryphal books accepted as deutero-canonical by the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches. This raises the question of why certain books were included in the canon while others were not. We have evidence that there were many gospels circulating in the early centuries of the first millennium. Further, the codices and lists of the canonical books show that the Bible’s texts changed throughout the first three centuries of the Church’s existence. Texts such as the Shepherd of Hermes and the Didache were eventually cut from the canon, while books such as 2 Peter and Jude were contested additions to it. Looking at the criteria for canonical books becomes critical to understanding why some texts were chosen over others, particularly when some of the books seem to be informative and historically useful to the Church (such as the Didache).
One reason the books were selected by Christian communities is that they were written by the Apostles or their close followers. The early church found it important to include books from the apostolic tradition, because their writings best reflected the story of Jesus and the nature of God’s work in the world. While some scholars, such as Bart Ehrman, suggest that the early church fabricated stories about Jesus in order to give him a God-like status, this argument imports modern notions about reality (particularly naturalistic and materialistic perspectives) into the first century world. Importing these philosophical perspectives into a first century worldview which was unaware of sciences like biology and psychology is anachronistic. Regardless of whether their understanding of the world is scientifically accurate or not, the important point is that the writers of the Biblical texts believed that what they were reporting was true (a point we will return to later).
Biblical texts were also chosen because they reflected the traditions of the Church throughout its history, including the history of Israel. This was an important criterion for the early church fathers who argued for the inclusion and exclusion of particular books. One argument by scholars, such as Elaine Pagels, suggests that the early church was politically motivated to pick and change texts that gave Jesus a particular image in order to stamp out competing strands of Christianity, such as Gnosticism. However, the historical evidence shows that Christianity (until the time of Constantine) was in no political or financial position to pursue such an endeavor. By the time of Constantine, most of the canon was well established, making this argument somewhat sketchy. Overall, there is reasonable evidence to believe that the early church was motivated out of a genuine desire to transmit the story of Jesus’ life faithfully rather than to fabricate a story or emphasize particular agendas in order to dominate other visions of Jesus in the first century.
A final consideration for why canonical texts were chosen is the original languages of the texts. The emphasis on the original languages became critically important on two occasions in history. The first occurred when Jerome translated the canon into Latin and chose the Hebrew Old Testament over the Septuagint ( the Greek Old Testament which including the Apocrypha). While Augustine argued that the Greek text had been the scripture used by the Church from its beginning in the first century, Jerome believed the Hebrew texts should be used because they were the original texts of the Old Testament. This argument returned during the Reformation, when Luther chose not to include the Old Testament Apocrypha in his translation on the same grounds. The emphasis on original languages is valid because we know the Greek Old Testament has additions (i.e. the Apocrypha) that were not originally written in Hebrew, meaning they have not been a part of the larger Church tradition (including Israel’s history). Even the sects of Christianity that use the Apocrypha acknowledge that it is deutero-canonical or of a lesser authority than the Old and New Testaments. Does that invalidate the Apocrypha, meaning we should not consult it at all? No, because it still provides important historical and cultural contexts that help us better interpret the Bible (a point to which we will return). However, this does not make it a source for truth, the next point of discussion.
When we say the Bible is true, this does not mean that the Bible is accurate on every historical and scientific point. Some churches do argue for the complete inerrancy of the Bible (i.e. the Bible has no mistakes or discrepancies of any kind), but inerrancy assumes that the writers and original audience of the Bible had the same attitude and approach toward science and history as modern society. The Bible is not always scientifically or historically correct. For example, the Bible’s cosmology assumes the earth is flat and surrounded by water around, above (being held up by the sky, which is a large dome), and below. Modern science clearly shows this to be an inaccurate understanding of the universe. Also, some of the historical facts, particularly pertaining to numbers and dates, seem skewed if not insupportable. Often this is because numbers carry a symbolic meaning rather than a literal one. Numbers like 3, 7, and 12 became important because of their significance to the Israelite community. Sometimes, numbers may have been exaggerated to emphasize or embellish a story, and dates may have been changed to line up with important events. In the Gospel of John, Jesus is crucified on Thursday rather than Friday (as recorded in Matthew, Mark, and Luke) because the Thursday of Passover was the day the sacrificial lamb was slaughtered. These discrepancies do not invalidate the stories; rather, they show that dates and numbers may have been changed for literary and social reasons.
The Bible is true because it is trustworthy account about God’s relationship with humanity and what that relationship requires of humanity. The Bible is not meant to be a history or science book, though the Church should affirm the historical nature of the Bible to an extent. These are not stories fabricated by the early church nor are they metaphors (as some scholars suggest) that have significant meaning. Paul says on a few different occasions – particularly in I Corinthians – that if the death and resurrection of Christ did not happen, then Christianity is a waste. History confirms the accuracy of some of the Bibles stories (such as the crucifixion) while it casts doubt on others, and the Church can be honest about this. But the Bible’s truth transcends history and science while not ignoring them. The truth the Church wants to affirm is that God entered history and acted through the works of Israel and Jesus Christ to reconcile the entire world to God’s self. On those points, the Bible is a trustworthy and valid source to affirm that truth. While every historical detail may not be accurate, history does affirm enough of the Bible to enable the Church to call it true.
To garner the truth of the Bible, the Church must employ good interpretation, which begins with the translation of the texts. One option for good interpretation is to have every Christian learn Greek and Hebrew, and then read the Bible in its original languages. Aside from being impractical, this is unnecessary. A central message of Pentecost is that the Gospel can be translated into any language without losing the core of the message. This does not set the criteria for choosing what texts should be included in the canon. Rather, it opens the possibility that the Church in any culture and context can read the Bible and interpret it well.
There are two layers of interpreting the Bible well. The first layer takes into account the historical, cultural, and literary frameworks of the Bible. These are the tools that modern Biblical scholarship has used to help the Church better understand the texts. These tools help the Church better understand what the Bible meant to its original audience so it can better understand what it means for the contemporary Church. They should be used to construct good translations which take into account the historical and cultural context of the Bible, translating it into the language of the new audience. The NRSV, NIV, NASB, and the Message Bible are examples of good translations or paraphrases, while the KJV or NKJV would represent less reliable translations.
The second layer of interpretation is a critical reading of good translations the Bible. While the contributions of Biblical scholarship are vital, they should not be considered the only valid methods to interpret the Bible. If Biblical scholarship has provided lay readers with the best translations possible (which most good English translations have), the cultural and historical context will come through in the translation, at least in part. A layperson’s reading of the Bible can be a valid interpretation if that layperson is reading a good translation and with an approach that seeks to understand texts within their literary contexts (i.e. looking at an entire text, not proof-texting) and the greater context of the canon. The historical and cultural contexts can help lay readers better understand the Bible, but if they are reading a good translation with a critical eye, these tools should not be necessities to interpreting the Bible well.
There is a third element to interpretation: the church. While it is important for lay readers to be able to read the Bible and interpret it without using the tools of Biblical scholarship, there also need to be accountability to ensure that interpretations do not undermine the truth that the Church seeks to proclaim. The Church takes on this role in Biblical interpretation. Throughout the history of the Church, the interpretation of the Bible has been a communal practice, providing both context and accountability for the interpretation. No interpretation of the Bible is valid if the person or group interpreting it purposely puts themselves outside the community of the Church. Rather, it is through the communal practice of the Church that good interpretations of Scripture are made.
Finally, the Holy Spirit must play a part in good interpretation. While this is a complex issue – discerning where the Spirit is moving, how the Spirit works through the Bible, etc – the fundamental way this happens is through prayer. Asking the Holy Spirit to be a part of the interpretative process and to illuminate the truth in Scripture is foundational to good interpretations of Scripture. The Church also plays a foundational role in discerning the movement and work of the Holy Spirit through the interpretation of Scripture. The accountability of the Church community will always be a central aspect of Biblical interpretation. Finally, if we take the message of Scripture seriously that the central ministry of the Church is the proclamation of the Gospel, then every interpretation of Scripture should ultimately support that ministry. This is not to say that every verse in Scripture specifically has to address the ministry of Proclamation of the Gospel, as there are multiple ministries in the Church. Rather, no interpretation of Scripture should undermine that interpretation, and ultimately our interpretations of Scripture should lead us to proclamation.
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